NZ lesbian

International Talk-Down-to-Women Day?

2008-03-08T14:15:00.003+13:00

It's great that the NZ Herald has decided on International Women's Day to continue their long standing tradition of telling women how to behave 'appropriately'. I am of course, referring to the offensive piece of psuedo-journalism titled, "Be a lady - not a blokette - women urged".

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10496933&ref=rss

There are two messages here. One is a warning against the effects of over-indulging in alcohol and having unsafe sex- a very important message. The other is the incredible double standard that the writers and those involved in this article hold to women compared with men- it's condescending, and it's outdated.

"Spokeswoman Christine Low said along with a rise in unsafe sexual behaviour, one in four women had revealed they could not remember what they did when drinking alcohol. She said that kind of behaviour led to women potentially putting themselves into situations with life-changing consequences. [...]"There is also the increased possibility of becoming the victims of physical and sexual violence.""

It makes my blood boil whenever I read anything that suggests that women are responsible for keeping themselves safe from sexual attacks. The responsibility and the blame is not theirs to carry, and blatant sexism masquerading as a public service announcement is insulting at best and insidious at worst.

Reading this article critically, it tells us that it's acceptable for men to act a certain way, but not women. If the message is really that people should be mindful of how they take care of their bodies, by taking precautions around sex and by not over-indulging in alcohol, then why is the article not directed at all people instead of just women? By targeting this safety information only to females they are reinforcing the idea that men can police themselves whereas women need "guidance" to tell them what is appropriate- which according to the Herald, is to "act like ladies".

"The National Council of Women said New Zealand women were blazing across political and economic barriers, but socially seemed to be confusing empowerment with what had been historically classed as the domain of stereotypical male behaviour."

Well now, it's possible I'm confused, but that seems pretty patronising. It's saying that if a woman acts in a way that could be read as stereotypically male, she's not being empowered, she's being confused. Here I was, thinking that empowerment was the ability to behave in the manner you think best befits you, regardless of stereotypes. If binge drinking and unsafe sex are typically male behaviours, I feel sorry for the hyper-testosterone afflicted among us- being male (according to the Herald and the NCW) means consistently exercising poor judgement and making unwise sexual choices. Perhaps the Herald should focus on the male population should future advice need to be metered out on the topic?

"Women needed [sic] to realise that empowerment does not disenfranchise them from being a woman", she said."

Ms. Low seems to see empowerment and womanliness as being essentially oppositional- it's obvious from her statement that "being a woman" is something that you can forget about easily if empowerment comes your way. (Watch out women, empowerment coming! Hold on to your breasts!)

"Ms Low saod [sic] women needed to know it was perfectly acceptable to act and behave like a woman and not a "blokette" with something to prove to their male counterparts."

I wonder what Ms Low's version of acting like a woman looks like. It obviously doesn't have anything to do with acting irresponsibly. Because what woman would act irresponsibly at times?

The main problem that I have with this article is that it propagates the oppositionally sexist idea that women and men should act in separate, distinct ways- and if women act in ways that men are expected to, they are confused or trying to prove something to men. I wont argue that men and women aren't different a la social constructivism- even if I do feel that gender conditioning has a lot to answer for. What I will argue for is the equal treatment of women and men; public service announcements should be just that- announcements to the public- not an opportunity to preach to women about how people outside of themselves wish them to act.

Don't Go Changin'...

2008-02-11T11:28:00.001+13:00

Since I killed off the events listing portion of this blog I haven't had any ideas on how to utilise this space. I came by today and did some late summer cleaning, deleting all the 'LezEvents' listing posts (thanks to the anonymous person who commented and advised me my links needed an update- you kick started the clean up).

Happy HERO 2008,

nzl

The Sound of a Car

2007-09-02T22:25:00.000+12:00

The Sound of a Car is a play by the award winning young lesbian writer, Thalia Hen. It is the story of a girl who falls in love with her best friend, and is being performed on Friday September the 7th at 10:30am. Come to the Herald Theatre at The Edge at Aotea Centre to experience a great performance and to support a local queer artist.

Details:

The Sound of a Car
A Play by Thalia Hen
10:30am
The Herald Theatre (The Edge, Aotea Centre, Auckland CBD)
For booking information call Aotea Centre on (09) 309 2677

Artisan Craft Market

2007-04-28T23:40:00.000+12:00

An Auckland lesbian couple are holding an arts and crafts market on the 30th of June at the Eden Activity Centre in Balmoral. Food will be sold and a raffle will be held, the proceeds of which go to 'The Lonely Miaow', a charity which cares for stray and abandoned cats in the greater Auckland area.

Features at the market include:

- Quality Handmade Goods: Homewares, food, clothing, childrens wear, jewellery, toys, art, etc...
- Childrens area with toys
- Food and Drink
- Charity Raffle

The organisers are also looking for more vendors (especially all you crafty queer women out there) so if you are interested in selling your wares please contact Sonya on 021 990 676 or monkeycraft@orcon.net.nz

Details:

Artisan Craft Market
Saturday June 30th 2007, 12-3pm
Eden Activity Centre
487 Dominion Rd, Balmoral
Cash only (ATMs within walking distance)
http://www.othila.net/artisancrafts.html

More information about The Lonely Miaow charity can be found at http://www.lonelymiaow.co.nz/

Stacy Bias and DykeTees

2007-04-03T21:58:00.000+12:00

Those of you who know who Stacy Bias is, already know about DykeTees, and technodyke.com, the online community that she created for queer women. You may even know about her efforts to combat fatphobia, her FatGirl Speaks show (and upcoming book), CupCake parties, bellies are beautiful.com and T-shirt store radfatties.com . She's also co-edited (and contributed to) a lesbian erotic fiction book 'Up All Night'. She created 'Pussy Pucker Pots' and 'Literati Lip Balm'. For those of you who've missed the phenomenon that is Ms Bias, you can find out more about her and her exploits on her official website, http://www.stacybias.net/ .

The latest news is that DykeTees have increased their sizes to go up to a 5XL (formerly topped at 2XL). This is a result of much lobbying on Stacy's part to Cafe Press. Her radfatties designs also go up to 5XL.

Some of my favourite designs:

And for the larger ladies...

(I'm Even Bigger in Japan, I May be Fat But Your Mom Seems to Enjoy it, Fat People on a Plane: Don't Like it? Don't @#&%ing Fly)

You can also get the designs on caps, boxers, mugs, mousepads, greeting cards, journals, camisoles, bags, pillows, postcards, badges, stickers etc...

http://www.dyketees.com/

http://www.radfatties.com/

All designs © Stacy Bias 2007.

I <3 Female Orgasm

2006-12-18T18:48:00.000+13:00

http://www.ilovefemaleorgasm.com/

'I Love Female Orgasm' is an education program in the United States that promotes sex education with female empowerment. It's run by a (f-m) couple, Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller. They basically tour college campuses and teach with a humourist approach- their program is inclusive of people of all genders and sexual orientations.

While we in NZ may not be able to take part in this interesting course, we can support their project by visiting their online shop- they have very inexpensive t-shirts, posters and a range of buttons for sale, and a portion of the proceeds of all sales goes to a Breast Cancer charitable organisation.

I've just bought 6 buttons (badges) for $6 + $2.25 post USD (all up less than $12 NZD). They don't have an international shipping option on their site so if you are interested in making a purchase please email them from the website or at info@sexualityeducation.com, they're really lovely people to deal with.

A lesbian poem by Mary Dorcey

2006-12-11T23:56:00.000+13:00

An ungrammatical poem
by Mary Dorcey

And you,
the rain on our skin,
the sun beating,
you - sweet, guileful sister
of pleasure,
you said in my ear

my mind turning
my body in your hands
turning,
you said,
say my name
when you come

and I did
say it,
your name
say it as well
as I could,
coming so many times

which is perhaps why
rain beating, sun on the skin
I say it still sometimes,
your name, when I come
so long after
you went.

(from the book Beautiful Barbarians: lesbian feminist poetry, ed. Lilian Mohin, Onlywomen Press, London, 1986)

MySpace LesbiaNZ

2006-12-10T03:02:00.000+13:00

I recently joined the chaotic world of myspace, and stumbled upon a group for NZ lesbians called LesbiaNZ. Their direct web address is: http://groups.myspace.com/nzlesbians

Although the founders are from Wellington, their members are from all over NZ (and in some cases, beyond). They have about 56 members so far, and are openly welcoming people to help provide links or event information, or even just to join up.

Got a myspace account? No? Head on over and sign up... www.myspace.com

NZ Herald- Girls? You need a MAN!

2006-12-03T11:58:00.000+13:00

There are just so many things wrong with this that I don't know where to begin. http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10413560

Forty-year-old Maree, a researcher, remembers being picky in her 20s. Now she looks at women in that age group and wants to advise them, "If you find someone, go for it. Don't muck about. Get in quick".
[...] "A lot of my single girlfriends are really beautiful, intelligent girls, nothing wrong with them. But they just can't find a man. [The men are] all taken or else total geeks."
Maree is currently dating a divorced man, something she had vowed she would not do when she was in her 20s.
"It's a terrible thing to say, but divorced men are a good thing. For us single older women, we'd be history if it wasn't for marriage breakups and divorced men, because there would be none there."

My immediate problems with this piece of 'journalism':

What is this about (hetero) women being 'history' without a man?
Why do women need to stop being 'picky'? Are women to accept any available man (who is not a geek, of course)?
Why do older women especially need to lower their standards and 'get in quick'? Is there something so terrible about being a single, independent woman of age?
If a women isn't beautiful and intelligent, is she flawed? Is there something 'wrong' with her?
And what's so bad about geeks, anyway? ;-)

Wasn't anyone paying attention in the seventies? That might seem a bit rich coming from someone who was born in '77. However, those issues have been passed down to those of us who were not of age in that time, we can't help but enjoy the impact of those freedoms that were won for us.

n.b.- This made the news? With this article, plus the one about the NZ Police going 'undercover' to catch drunk drivers (well not ANYMORE) in ice-cream trucks http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10413576, I'm starting to wonder if international readers may think NZers are 'backwards'...

World AIDS Day 2006

2006-12-01T02:53:00.000+13:00

Today is World AIDS Day and the theme for 2006 is Stop AIDS: Keep the Promise which was chosen by the WAC (World AIDS Campaign). This slogan is targeted at governments and policy makers around the world to encourage them to keep their promises in regards to AIDS funding, treatment and prevention programs. The theme will run until 2010, with each year from now until then having a different keyword. This years keyword is accountability.

There are approximately 40 million people living with HIV currently around the world. Roughly 2,500 people are aware of living with HIV in NZ (2005- stats from http://www.moh.govt.nz/aids).

You can make a difference by:

making donations (there will be street collectors all day in the CBD area from 8am, and you can also donate at:
The Body Shop – all 26 branches of this retail organisation nationwide will be collecting and will have displays with condoms and "safety gear" posters in every shop
Waitakere DHO in Auckland are displaying and collecting in 30 clinics
Sky Television will be displaying and collecting in their main office in Auckland
Queen of the Whole Universe Pageant – Aotea Centre, Auckland, (proceeds to NZAF)
Film screening: "3 Needles" Academy Cinema, Auckland, a portion of the ticket sales will go to Body Positive and NZAF – screening times 11am, 3:45pm, 8:45pm, 11pm
Bar collection for Body Positive – evening, K Road area, Auckland
(thanks to gaynz.com for the donations information)

lighting a candle at https://www.lighttounite.org/ - For every candle lit, Bristol-Myers Squibb will donate $1 up to $100,000 to the National AIDS fund (USA). They've reached their quota now, but any further candles lit will still add to the supporters statistics.

wearing a red ribbon to promote awareness. The red ribbon has been a symbol of solidarity for people living with/concerned about AIDS for 15 years.

talking to people about ending prejudice towards people living with HIV, and educate about preventing the spread of HIV

getting involved in future campaigns (contact the NZAF for more info http://www.nzaf.org.nz/)

More information about World AIDS Day can be found at http://www.avert.org/worldaid.htm and http://www.worldaidsday.org/default.asp

Information about the NZ Quilt Project: Promoting AIDS awareness and remembrance through memorial quilts can be found by contacting nzquilt@hotmail.com or calling (09) 302 7632.

Pussy Pucker Pots

2006-11-30T01:12:00.000+13:00

This vegan lip balm ROCKS. I have a pot in 'Muffberry' and it tastes great ;-)

The brainchild of Technodyke.com founder Stacy Bias, Pussy Pucker Pots were created to give women a sexpositive/feminist lip balm that vegans could indulge in too. It's made by dykes for dykes (see them making it here: http://www.pussypuckerpots.com/process.asp), and the names of the flavours alone are enough to make you want to pull out your wallet:

Muffberry, Areola Apricot, Chocolate Nipple Ripple, Clitoris Citrus, Labia Lemon, Nice Melons, Plain Ol' Prude, Shaved Peach, Strawberry Snatch, TaTa Tangerine, Vanilla Vulva and my favourite, Don't Need No MANgo.

You can get it in Auckland from Cherrybomb Comics at 41 New North Rd Eden Terrace http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~cherrybomb/ (they only have some flavours- it might pay to call first to make sure they have the one you want (09) 374-4504) or order it online for about NZD$17.60 including delivery (1 pot) from http://www.rainbowstore.com.au/category247_1.htm

Nice xrissy present!

Review: Imagine Me and You

2006-11-27T16:21:00.000+13:00

Imagine Me and You
(warning: contains spoilers)

Rendering lesbians on film is always problematic. When a minority group scrambles for any positive media attention you're never going to satisfy everyone nor get an across-the-board representation of every face in that sub-culture. Take the criticism levelled at 'The L Word'. There was much debate when the series first emerged in regards to it presenting only a certain type of lesbian- an affluent white city femme living in a lesbian utopia. The writers defended themselves against this accusation by stating it was neither their intention nor responsibility to represent the entire lesbian community of the United States of America. It's also unlikely that a series about butch dykes going to pot-lucks in the country would rate very highly outside my living room.

Such is the way of Imagine Me and You- the protagonists are two classically beautiful femme well educated white women, the ever-Sapphic Piper Perabo and relative newcomer Lena Headey. Piper plays the same cute spunky but soft archetype in Rachel that we've come to expect from her in roles such as Violet in Coyote Ugly and Nora in Cheaper By the Dozen. Lena's character Luce is the 'butcher' of the two (though that's a lark), the strong confident florist who knows who she is (a lesbian) and what she wants (Piper). Apart from having an almost latent moral dilemma about Piper being a newlywed she sets herself on a straight course- destination Piper's pants.

Piper's Rachel makes a very fast change from someone who looks to have never questioned her hetero sexual orientation before to someone who is prepared to sacrifice her new marriage for a kind of relationship we'll assume she's never thought about before (or it's wider reaching implications). The writers attempt half-heartedly to set us up to accept this unlikelihood by including a revealing dinner conversation over which the characters wax lyrical on the nature of true love (in short, Rachel thinks you 'make do' while Luce believes in love at first sight- naturally).

All in all, Imagine Me and You is a cute film that gives you warm fuzzies if you manage to suspend your disbelief (which film-watching dykes are used to doing). I'd love to go see a mainstream lesbian movie with a diverse cast of fully fleshed out lesbian and bisexual characters, of all sizes and of varied economic status- but I think I've got more chance of raising Sappho from the dead and convincing her to be my girlfriend.

It's just as well I don't speak Greek.

5 great lesbian novels

2006-11-23T02:43:00.001+13:00

...according to me.

1. Affinity- Sarah Waters

This book haunted me, I couldn't put it down. It wasn't as well received as 'Tipping the Velvet' amongst those whom I know have read them both, but 'Affinity' just gripped and saddened me, and that sense of sorrow and loss that I felt at times while reading it captured my heart more than the quirky more upbeat (if only just at times!) 'Tipping the Velvet'.

2. Written on the Body- Jeanette Winterson

The language of this prose novel is sublime, Winterson is a true wordsmith who really knows her craft. This tale of desire and longing is truly spellbinding.

3. Beneath the Blonde- Stella Duffy

The third Saz Martin thriller hooks you right at the start and keeps you reading- this is a one-sitting book, or at least you'll want it to be. Like some of her other titles, it's also partially set in New Zealand.

4. She Came to the Castro- Mary Wings

I like my lesbian detective thrillers (don't we all). The fourth Emma Victor novel is a fun ride, Wings' wit is acerbic, and I can never quite figure it all out 'til the end, which is a big plus in the sometimes jaded genre of the crime novel.

5. Fanny- Erica Jong

Not strictly a lesbian novel in the separatist sense, Erica Jong still tickles and thrills with this lusty, bawdy sapphic update of 'Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure.'

Putting my money where my mouth is

2006-11-21T17:44:00.000+13:00

I just received my latest purchase from merchandykes- a rainbow ribbon lapel pin and a rainbow pride 'dog tag'... and I must say the tag is awesome... I love love love it!

Thanks for sourcing the stuff MDs!

www.merchandykes.co.nz

Favourite Lesbian Poem

2006-11-18T12:33:00.000+13:00

This is my favourite lesbian poem, by Gerry Gomez Pearlberg...

Sailor

The girls go by in their sailor suits
They catch my eye in their sailor suits
Big or slight they all grin like brutes
In steam-ironed pants and buffed jet boots
They saunter right up my alley.

I study their easy, confident strides
Crew cuts and white hats capping decadent eyes
They shiver the pearl on night's oystery prize
They shiver me timbers, unbuckle me thighs
This alley was made for seething.

From the sweat of a street lamp or lap of the sea
A smooth sailor girl comes swimming to me
Says she wants it right now and she wants it for free
Clamps her palms to my shoulders, locks her knees to
my knees
This alley was made for cruising.

Her face is dark coffee, her head has no hair
Her cap shines like neon in the bristling night air
She pins her brass metals to my black brassiere
Tucks her teeth like bright trophies behind my left ear
This alley is very rewarding.

She tosses her jacket and rolls up her sleeves
On her arm's a tattoo of an anchor at sea
She points to the anchor and whispers 'That's me.'
And the wetter I get the more clearly I see
This alley was made for submersion.

Her fingers unbutton my 501s
This girl's fishing for trouble and for troubling fun
She slides off her gold rings and they glint like the sun
Then she smirks, rubs her knuckles, and spits out her gum
This alley was made for swooning.

Now she's pushing her prow on my ocean's sponge wall
Uncorking my barnacle, breaking my fall
And there's pink champagne fizzling down my decks and
my hall
As she wrecks her great ship on my bright port-of-call
This alley was made for drowning.

Michael Moore's Pledge to Republicans

2006-11-15T03:20:00.000+13:00

Although this is not New Zealand related as such, I'm putting this up because I like it.

"A Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives

November 14th, 2006

To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,

I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week's election. You're worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don't want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.

Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan to do with our newfound power -- and, to be specific, what we will do to you and for you.

Thus, here is our Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:

Dear Conservatives and Republicans,

I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:

1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.

2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your behavior to be "different" or "immoral." Who you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful gift.

3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims or to enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.

4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.

5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we'll make sure those advances are available to you and your family, too.

6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.

7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately. We will protect you.

8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.

9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we would protect ours.

10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you -- and your employees -- that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay conservative women that wage, too.

11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical religious beliefs ("Blessed are the poor," "Blessed are the peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," and "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn't just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism -- starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.

12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.

I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow Americans -- and for the rest of the world.

Signed,

Michael Moore
mmflint@aol.com
www.michaelmoore.com

P.S. Please feel free to pass this on."

Merchandykes

2006-11-13T22:47:00.000+13:00

Merchandykes have their new catalogue out! They have great pride jewellery, cards, T-shirts and a few DVDs... it's nice to see a local queer retailer make their 1st birthday!

Some of my favs:

Stainless Steel Pride Ring $18

Liquid Silver Pride Necklace $15

Shell Pride Necklace $5

Bear Claw Stud (for the boys) $12

Double Male Pewter Disc (Double Female available too)$25

Chrome Key Ring $7

Rainbow Ribbon Lapel Pin $5

PRIDE Lapel Pin $5

'Sexy Dyke' T-Shirt $25 (or two for $40)

Gay Barcode T-shirt $25 (or two for $40)

Lesbian Greeting Card $4.50

'Desert Hearts' DVD $32

Please note there are many more items on their website http://www.merchandykes.co.nz (or you can click the quick link on the right)